Reading some comments in general about Latina men and women, it is no surprise that many of us are viewed as being “SEXY,” while it is not a problem that we are considered to be attractive people, it becomes a nuisance when they see us just as that—SEX symbols. On many articles published, many commenters stated that what Latina women are doing (when going for sexiness) is conforming to men. This is NOT true. Latina women are not afraid of their sexuality. We do not do this to appease to men, but rather, to please ourselves. Feeling sexy means feeling confident about yourself. Our purpose is not to cater to men, but to feel comfortable in our own skin.

In the late 60s and early 70s bras and girdles were burnt by feminists and repudiated. Today, us women are successful, sexy, and independent. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t a woman be all three? Must we look and act like a man to be treated like one? We want gender equality in terms of social and economic standards. We are not aiming to be “manly.” We are striving for equality in other areas that have nothing to do with physical appearance. Latina women aren’t the only ones who want to look beautiful. The beauty industry is a multi-billion dollar business for a reason. All women want to look appealing, our definition of beauty varies, but we all have a similar goal in mind.

Okay, so some of you will say this is NOT true, you love your children, safety come first, and so on. However, every time I am cruising around a predominantly Latino neighborhood, if I had a dollar for every child I see jumping around in the backseat (and sometimes the front seat) of a car that happens to be in motion… I’d be rich by now! Yes, I am sure not all of us do this. But some Latinos do. Probably putting the car seat in the car is a pain in the neck or strapping that seat belt on your child is something you do and the child takes it off when you are driving. But if this is so, pull over and make sure they strap it back on. The other day I saw a kid sticking his head out the car window, without his seatbelt on, and the mother was driving like nothing. I nearly fainted at the sight of this!

Sure, we like living life on the fast lane (safely), but if there is anything we HATE is turtle drivers. Now officers, if you’re reading this, do know we keep it under the speed limit *ahem*, so refrain yourselves from racial profiling. We just hate people who drive 5 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone. Recently, I was on the highway on my way to an important event. Why did I have the enormous luck to cross someone, NOT on the slow lane, driving at 20 mph who almost made me crash—twice?! This person even hit the brakes, ON THE HIGHWAY… TWICE! This will even give a nun road rage!  My patience met its limit since I was also on a race against time. I passed the driver, ready to give her my two cents, and as I swerved, rolled down the window prepared to release my outburst, I noticed it was a really OLD lady (she was museum material) who was shaking and driving, she seem scared. Out of utter shock, what was supposed to be a “you piece of **** get out of the road” turned into a very respectful, “Um, erm, uh, Drive SAFELY ma’am!”  Mira, I respect my elders!

This my friends is not happening in only third world countries, it is happening here, in the wealthiest country in the world. No one deserves to live this way. Sure, you may call them “lazy” or say that people who live under those conditions “choose to” or that they have a drug addiction, but not always. Let’s stop judging and start helping. Encourage our office holders, give a donation to a church, let us give, and help those who really need us.

The term “Illegal Alien” is not only derogatory, but also encourages white supremacy. A person is NOT an “ALIEN”. If during a quiet night your peace is disturbed by noise coming from the sky where you spot a UFO (who arrived here from planet Mars) and a little green alien comes out to take over your world, then that A$$HOLE is an “Illegal Alien”. The people who are here without papers should be referred to as “undocumented workers” or “undocumented immigrants.” Sometimes we cannot break the laws that are already broken, or persecute people for crossing a border that crossed them first. If someone asks you what is your race, it’s totally okay to say, “HUMAN”.

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I just got back from watching Paranormal Activity 3 and I saw how the little girl in the movie had an imaginary friend she called “Toby,” which brings me to this: we HATE imaginary friends. Latino parents, for the most part, don’t play those types of games with their children. If you tell your Latino parent you have an imaginary friend you may receive one (or all) of the following response(s):

• Is your mom cheating on me? What’s his name?
• Are you nuts like your grandmother?
• Vete a joder con el para alla!
• Really? And he lives here? He better start chipping in for the rent!

If you’re a Latino who doesn’t speak Spanish, no worries (some of you got a bit too sensitive on that subject last time.  Speaking or not speaking Spanish doesn’t make you any more or less Latino, we forgive you).  However, we totally HATE people who do KNOW how to speak Spanish and pretend they don’t for whatever reason it may be.  You almost want to damn their mothers in Spanish just to hear them snap back at you in Español. Recently, I was at a store and a senior citizen was trying to explain to the Latina behind the counter what she wanted.  Need I remind you, I’ve been to this place before, and I’ve heard this chica speak in Spanish numerous times, but for some reason she let the poor old lady struggle! Just because I’m a Latina who doesn’t like to meddle, I had to intervene.  I did, served as a translator, and then I said, “Entendistes nena?”  ADM! I guess some people have their  “I don’t speak Spanish for a day days”. Que come ******!

We absolutely HATE children who are ill-mannered. These types of children are so irritable (especially when they stick their tongue out or raise their middle finger at you).  You cannot help but to dislike those little shrimps, and despise their parents even more for the lack of education they are giving them.  You better believe Doña Flora down the street will make la vecindad (the neighborhood) aware of how badly you’re raising your children. You’ll know you’re a bad parent when la Doñita says,”Que niño mas malcriado! Yo te digo que si fuera hijo mio ya yo le hubiera volado esos dientes, estaria andando derechito!”

Photographer: Arvind Balaraman/http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

This may be something many people dislike and not just Latinos, but Latinos REALLY hate when someone honks the horn at them while driving. This is utterly annoying. When someone honks the horn at us, not only do we put a face of displeasure as we threaten you with a menacing look via our rear view mirror, we will also hit the roof of our car and yell, “Pasame por encima!” (Jump/Pass over me).  We may add some explicit words to that statement.  We will also say things of this nature: What do you want me to speed so I can get a ticket just for you?!/You must have to go use the bathroom if you’re in such a hurry!/ Are you on a rush to die? No. Right? You can wait a*****e!!! Not that you can hear us, but trust me that’s what we’re shouting inside of our cars.  Out of all things in the world, this is one of the things that’s extremely petulant to us thus increasing our road rage. *Beep*Beep* makes us want to kill YOU! Well, not quite, but it sorta does.  So please, if you notice the car in front of you has a Latin flag on it (i.e., bumper sticker, flag hanging from the rear view mirror) for your sake, refrain from honking the horn. We’d truly appreciate it. Thank you.

Photographer: Damian Brandon/freedigitalphotos.net

Really, we get it, NOT everybody likes everybody.  If the term RACIST makes you feel uncomfortable, feel free to use, culturally insensitive.  Most Some people are racists and they don’t want other people to know.  So what do they do?  They pretend that they like you (even when they don’t), then go ahead and tell you something along the lines of… “You’re Latino, really?  I have like 5 Latino friends, they’re so cool!”  Or “You’re a Latina eh?  My brother married a Latina, and she’s really pretty.”  Great! Is that suppose to make us feel better? We get it, you’re not a TOTAL racist, you just hate to love us so much.  No hard feelings buddy.  Some people like to be liked.  But to be frank, Latinos don’t give a damn.  We’re survivors by nature.  We like “us”.  That suffices.  So go ahead and make it clear you totally detest Latinos (if you do).  We’ll find it absolutely honest from your part and appreciate the fact that you’re a blunt prick and not a subtle, hypocritical one.