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LOVE: Talking With Their Hands

Latinos love talking with their hands.  You might've thought it was only an Italian thing, but it is actually not. A Latino cannot, will not, does not speak to you if it isn't without having some bodily contact and touching you as they talk. You might think they're doing sign language, but not quite. They're explaining a situation to you and giving you as much of a physical description that they imaginably can. If you're Latino you will understand where I'm coming from. If you're not Latino, then you may feel violated when a Latino talks to you (since they will touch you numerous times until the conversation is over). Why we do this? Am not sure. You will never realize how bad it is until you catch yourself doing it.

The most irritating thing about all this has got to be the Latino you stumble upon that claims they think they know you (when they probably don't) and they take their index finger and repeatedly stab you with it on your chest as they say in utter excitement, "Yo te conozco a ti de algun lado! Si, si, tu, tu mismo, yo te conozco a ti.  Tu eres familia de los Riveras?" [I know you from somewhere. Yes, Yes, YOU, you, I know you! Are you related to the Riveras?] The fact that they are a total freaking stranger isn't as bad as the pain they cause when they poke you.  You almost want to tell them, "NO habla ESPAÑOL," even if you have LATINO written all over your face.

LOVE: Toribio "Los Kakukomicos"

LOVE: Arroz Congri